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Glossary entry

Spanish term or phrase:

Pasiones que acaban en cariño y relojes que enamoran a primera vista

English translation:

Passions that grow into affection and watches that beguile at first sight

    The asker opted for community grading. The question was closed on 2015-01-31 10:54:08 based on peer agreement (or, if there were too few peer comments, asker preference.)
Jan 28, 2015 08:07
9 yrs ago
2 viewers *
Spanish term

Pasiones que acaban en cariño y relojes que enamoran a primera vista

Spanish to English Art/Literary Journalism
This is the title of an article on luxury watches in a Spanish airline's inflight magazine for business/first-class travellers.

I need something snappy and creative and my creativity is on strike this morning...

I have to deliver in about three hours.

Any creative folks out there willing to take a stab?

If I've posted this under the wrong field, please feel free to let me know which one would be correct.



TIA
Proposed translations (English)
3 +6 Passions that grow into affection and watches that beguile at first sight
3 passions that end up in loving and watches that enamour at first sight
3 Passions that become devotion and watches that make you fall in love instantly/at first sight
3 Passions that lead to tender love and watches that charm you the moment you see them
3 Passions that blossom into true love and watches that take your breath away
3 Passion that yields to tender love and watches that strike passion
3 Passions that only love can tame. Watches that spark your passions.
3 Seductive at first sight, these watches inspire passion and even true love

Discussion

philgoddard Jan 28, 2015:
It's difficult to compose a headline in a vacuum without seeing the article, but I suspect I'd completely rewrite this to sound more English. It sounds a bit like purple prose, and it's also long for a headline.
Elizabeth Joy Pitt de Morales (asker) Jan 28, 2015:
Somehow, I've mistakenly chose the community to determine the most helpful answer, and that was not my intention. I'll correct it ASAP.
Elizabeth Joy Pitt de Morales (asker) Jan 28, 2015:
My comment regarding "beauty" and "faithfulness" is in reference to the saying about translations and women...

What I meant is that the client is not as concerned about the translation being faithful as he is about it sounding great and the readers enjoying the article. I have broad editorial powers, in other words.
Elizabeth Joy Pitt de Morales (asker) Jan 28, 2015:
Client strongly prefers "beauty" over "faithfulness".

Proposed translations

+6
19 mins
Selected

Passions that grow into affection and watches that beguile at first sight

My tuppence ha'penny
Note from asker:
Somehow, I've made a mistake and left it to the community to decide the most helpful answer, which is not what I intended to do. Your answer was the most helpful, and I've used it, slightly modified to "Passions that fade to affection and watches that beguile at first sight". "Beguile" is just perfect! Thank you!
Peer comment(s):
agree Natalia Pedrosa
2 mins
agree Yvonne Gallagher : love "beguile" here (Maybe put watches first? Watches...passions growing into love (for "affection")
51 mins
agree Gisela Bocco
2 hrs
agree neilmac : Definitely the most beguiling verb I've seen today...
2 hrs
agree Carol Gullidge
3 hrs
neutral philgoddard : I don't see how passion can "grow" into affection, and the asker's choice of "fade" has negative connotations. This has undertones of disappointment to me.
5 hrs
agree Phoenix III : Awesome !
1 day 5 hrs
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "All of the suggestions were creative and inspirational. I choose this one, modifying it slightly to read "Passions that fade to affection and watches that beguile at first sight". The "beguile" captivated me. Thank you very much!"
21 mins

passions that end up in loving and watches that enamour at first sight

A bit literal for my taste, but there we go.
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22 mins

Passions that become devotion and watches that make you fall in love instantly/at first sight

It's all so subjective...
And I'm not sure where "beauty" or "faithfulness" fit in that sentence...

"... watches with which you fall in love at first sight/watches that you fall in love with instantly" both sound awkward to me.

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May 9, 2011 - 10 posts - ‎5 authors
... slicker design, 4.5" screen, no buttons, all screen, better display tech, dual speaker, things that make you fall in love at first sight, but honestly ...

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Note added at 25 mins (2015-01-28 08:32:48 GMT)
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You could combine my suggestion with Natalia's/Hartley's:

Passions that become devotion and watches that beguile/enamour at first sight/instantly/on the spot...

:-)
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1 hr

Passions that lead to tender love and watches that charm you the moment you see them

Another suggestion...
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1 hr

Passions that blossom into true love and watches that take your breath away

I love some of the ideas already posted (especially Hartley's). I suspect you may end up taking bits from several of them. Here's another approach, a bit more vigorous perhaps. I'd be a bit careful with "at first sight", because outside the set phrase "love at first sight" it could suggest superficially (not so good when you take a closer look).

The first part of mine is intended to be a little tongue-in-cheek, which doesn't do any harm, I think.

"Take your breath away" is very familiar from the song.
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2 hrs

Passion that yields to tender love and watches that strike passion

Another possibility. The repetition of 'passion' implies that your passion for the watch will turn to tender love for it; this conveys the idea behind the original phrase is, which, I imagine, is the staying power and reliability of the watches

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Note added at 2 hrs (2015-01-28 10:54:23 GMT)
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although I'm not sure if 'strike' (despite its obvious relation to watches) works. Grammatically speaking, it might be better to use something like 'inspire' or 'fire up'
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7 hrs
Spanish term (edited): Pasiones que acaban en cariño y relojes que enamoran a primera vista

Passions that only love can tame. Watches that spark your passions.

I know you've probably delivered your translation already, but this came to mind so thought I'd post it. I find it a bit too long and wordy as a headline, so would suggest streamlining it somehow.

I also had "watches to fall in love with" for the second part, but felt it was lacking somehow.
Example sentence:

Pasiones que acaban en cariño y relojes que enamoran a primera vista.

Passions that only love can tame. Watches that spark your passions.

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7 hrs

Seductive at first sight, these watches inspire passion and even true love

Just another suggestion. However, regardless of which answer you choose you might consider restructuring the headline like this.
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