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Sozialpedagoge/Sozialpedagogin
Beteiligungsmanagement
Sep 7, 2021 14:06
2 yrs ago
43 viewers *
German term

Auf ihre Umgebung

German to English Marketing Marketing
I'm translating usage instructions for waxing strips, and just cannot figure out how to make this sound even slightly less clunky in English. It just seems like such a strange phrase.

For context, this is at the very end of the instructions:

Sie werden staunen, wie attraktiv Sie nach der Anwendung auf Ihre Umgebung wirken.
Proposed translations (English)
5 +2 the people around you
4 +4 To those around you
4 +1 leave it out
3 +1 to those looking, to people with a keen eye
4 on your environment
3 attention from onlookers

Discussion

Veronika Neuhold Sep 15, 2021:
@Alison Best suggestion, so far.
Alison MacG Sep 8, 2021:
Hi Lauren. You know the company involved here. Take a look at their marketing material in the UK and the equivalent blog/tips page.

Befolgen Sie diese Tipps und wählen Sie ganz einfach Ihre bevorzugte Haarentfernungsmethode. Sie werden staunen, wie attraktiv Sie nach der Anwendung auf Ihre Umgebung wirken.
By following these tips, you can simply choose your preferred hair removal method and get ready to turn heads wherever you go!

Proposed translations

+2
9 hrs
Selected

the people around you

You will be amazed how attractive you look to the people around you after using it
Example sentence:

the people around you

Peer comment(s):
agree David Hollywood : gets my vote without the "after using it" bit
3 hrs
Thank you
neutral Michele Fauble : Essentially the same answer as Oliver’s.
4 hrs
agree Gordon Matthews : "people around you" feels warmer and less formal than "those around you".
8 hrs
Thank you
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
+1
13 mins

to those looking, to people with a keen eye

just a couple of ideas not using "surroundings" or "environment"
Peer comment(s):
agree writeaway
1 hr
Something went wrong...
+4
37 mins

To those around you

You'll be amazed how attractive you look to those around you after applying/using it;
Peer comment(s):
agree Rama Bhave
9 mins
Thank you!
agree Claudia Hoffmann
54 mins
Thank you!
agree Michele Fauble
2 hrs
Thank you!
agree Michelle Handley
15 hrs
Thank you!
Something went wrong...
6 hrs

attention from onlookers

You will be shocked at how much attention you'll get from onlookers after applying it.
Something went wrong...
16 hrs

on your environment

Important to keep it as is in terms of the word Umgebung. It shows a kind of mystical nontangible almost, effect that the person's newfound attractiveness has on their environment, which most definitely would include people, but saying it indirectly I believe brings the meaning across more accurately.
the effect your newfound attractiveness will have on your environment
Can also be
the attractive effect you will have on your environment and those around you
Reference:

https://www.linguee.com/english-german/search?source=auto&query=wirken

Something went wrong...
+1
19 hrs

leave it out

I would just leave this out. If you're using the word "attractive", this automatically implies that you are attractive to the people around you, so adding anything at the end of the sentence not only seems superfluous, but also sounds unnatural.
Peer comment(s):
agree Lancashireman : Radical!
1 hr
Thanks, Lancashireman!
Something went wrong...
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