Jun 9, 2002 03:02
21 yrs ago
English term

Re: and proofreading 1 sentence

English Bus/Financial
I am translating a document which is preceded by a letter with is a one-line description of the document defined/translated as subject in english. I recall that there is a standard method for dealing with this in correspondence. My inclination is to use Re: but since this is a very formal letter and the word is typed out and not abbreviated, perhaps I should simply write subject: ... (Betreff: Bezug: in German)

Objet: Systèmes d’acceptation CB5.2:

Further this gets more complicated due to the wording of the next sentence:

Suite aux différentes interrogations exprimées par les industriels sur le sujet cité en objet, nous vous prions de bien vouloir prendre conaissance de la note d’information, ci-jointe, portant sur:


In response to various inquiries raised by manufacturers? on?/ with regard to? the subject (matter?) referred to above, we request you to take note of the attached memorandum concerning:

Discussion

Mads Grøftehauge Jun 9, 2002:
Incidentally, re is a word (from Latin), not an abbreviation. Thought you'd like to know, it makes no difference here :)
Non-ProZ.com Jun 9, 2002:
Thanks! Already Posted Under That Category
Claudia Iglesias Jun 9, 2002:
I think you should post this in French>English.
Non-ProZ.com Jun 9, 2002:
Chris Not aiming for smokescreens just a crystallized wording of the french thought but thanks for that and the dusty too, Chris, gave me a laugh!
Non-ProZ.com Jun 9, 2002:
still trying In response to various inquiries raised by manufacturers? suppliers?/ with regard to? on? regarding? the above referenced subject, we request you to take note of the attached memorandum concerning:
Non-ProZ.com Jun 9, 2002:
Question They are referring to an attached memorandum of which this letter is the introduction... ???
Non-ProZ.com Jun 9, 2002:
Question Also as title to the letter would you use the following:

NOTE TO the Manufacturers of Electronic Payment Terminals and Automatic Teller Machines (US) / Cash machines (UK)

Would you use Memorandum in place of note?

Responses

+5
22 mins
Selected

Re: is ok and see sentence below

... raised by manufacturers in connection with the above-captioned systems...
Peer comment(s):

agree Sarah Ponting : "Re:" is correct
4 hrs
Thanks, Sarah
agree Enza Longo
5 hrs
Thanks, Enza
agree jerrie : Truly formal - with reference to:
5 hrs
Thanks, Jerrie
agree John Kinory (X)
8 hrs
Thanks, Yony
agree Chinoise
21 hrs
Thank you
agree Sue Crocker
1 day 20 hrs
Thanks, Sue
disagree Paraskevi Brunson : Wrong answer? Maybe not but why confuse those not so literate.
10 days
Paraskevi: if this is a very formal letter, it will not confuse the people who will be receiving it ... surely they will be literate enough to understand it!
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Graded automatically based on peer agreement. KudoZ."
34 mins

Re: or nothing, and ...

Re: is for me (BE) formal, going on legalistic. If you want it to sound dusty use "Re: ...". When I was selling software relating to cash machines I wouldn´t have used "Re:, I would just put the subject in bold, underlined, centred (and not TOO big). Re: only obscures and pretends to be learned.

"In response to various enquiries from suppliers, please see the attached." for the simplest form - and why waste people´s time decoding somethign complex, we just want them to read the attached document.

Attached
Attached document
Attached response
Attached memorandum, for the dustiest form.

It is unnecessary to say "with regard to the matter referred to above" - what´s the heading there for? If "Re:", this is what it says. But then that is also the meaning of placing something as a heading, without "Re:"

"We request you to take note ... " or just "please see ... ", which is easier to understand.

"Concerning" says "Re:" a third time, when it is not needed even once.

Suppliers rather than manufacturers, because it is more inclusive - there may be VAR´s and other secondary suppliers involved.

I realise you are translating the French sentence, so maybe you want all this smokescreen. I don´t do French professionally, I can´t judge whether it is necessary to write obscurely to reflect an obscure style in the original, but this is my response for proofreading the English.

And for the heading itself, I would use one of:

Response to
Notes for
Memorandum:
Additional information for

but it depends on the source text, and what the document is.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2002-06-09 03:40:27 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Notes for suppliers of Electronic Payment Terminals and Automatic Teller Machines

In response to various enquiries from suppliers, please see the attached.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2002-06-12 09:17:41 (GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Revisiting this today, I stand by what I have above. You can easily make it three times as long, but \"regarding the above subject\" is quite unnecessary - that is said by it´s being a heading. Similarly \"we request you to take note of the attached memorandum concerning\" could just as well be \"please see attached\".

If I receive a thing like this, I do not want to waste two minutes working out that the covering letter doesn´t really say anything at all, you can save me the time with \"please see attached\". Then I know I can ignore the letter and get down to reading the actual content, the notes/memo.

The whole of the French text really says nothing more than \"Here´s the update\". OK, it´s formal, but so is \"please see attached\", just concise.
Peer comment(s):

neutral Paraskevi Brunson : I take a neutral view only to the point that formal and polite are always clouding the "objective". I would use (FYI) FOR YOUR INFORMATION. Good job Chris and I hope you have been, if you please, helpful.
10 days
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